Feb 26th..

we went to meet the genetic counsellor to know what is unclear with my results.my unborn baby is going through lot of hurdles and  more to come.So we came to know that though my baby has no Down syndrome and the second trimester ultrasound is beautiful,there is a missing piece in Chromosome 17 as per microarray results.

Doctors have never seen this before and no study gas been done on this as of now so my baby us kind of unique.this missing piece is very small around 139 kb in technical terms but can cause neurological delays or heart problems.

they wanted the parents to have blood test to assure if it’s in genes or happened while baby formation.if it’s inherited from parents then most likely baby will be fine like parents and if not then there may be growths delays.Although very low chances of the same but in both cases nobody can assure us that baby will be like me if my husband or my daughter.

We were kind of taken back .this whole process started with  down syndrome ,but actually it’s something else.Manifolds of weird thoughts was reigning both of our minds.

The day started quite bad but thankfully no call from my daughter’s daycare so seems she was doing ok.i came home and tried to concentrate on my work but only half hearted.

By evening,when I went to pick Anaya,we have kind of decided not to go further in pregnancy.

Anaya was  unaware of all these turmoils in our life so poor baby has to bear an impact of it.i put her to bed And she woke up after sometime as usual.Not sure why ,I walked off from her and she came running behind me in kitchen My helpless baby was already sick and half asleep,barefoot crying for mummy and mummy started yelling at her for not going back to bed.i hate myself for ths !

Please my love forgive me for making you cry for wrong reasons but sometimes I just can’t help it.although  I cried bak once you were asleep but I can’t bring back those 10 minutes when I made you cry :-(…I am still feeling guilty..






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